The bride price

They say lobola brings families together but now

It all started when he said I love you and you did not deny that love. In fact you embraced it and highly treasured it….

Then came……the bride price (roora/amalobolo) for him to start a family with his woman. Iam not saying as women we should be taken for free as this would attribute to violence and abuse.

As a woman my parents also received their part of the bride price when I got married to my husband.

Iam not against the paying of bride price but iam against its abuse which leads to a man regretting ever marrying you in the first place.

He started by prophesying his love for you and is now getting married to you out of all the ladies in the world.

By the way, let’s have it in our minds that he could have married someone else who is prettier and  more reserved than you are….but he chose you.

Why then do we (women) agree with our parents when they change the bride price from its cultural use of bringing families close together to a symbol of accumulating wealth.

Long ago even the poorest  man could easily marry but these days, he can only do that if he opts for cohabitation which is now the most preferable way.

By the way iam not against cohabitation because people are free to get married anyhow as long as they will be happy in the long run.

Iam  only against it if it’s forced cohabitation especially in our Zimbabwean culture.

Imagine if you were a man and you are asked to pay a bride price which is comprised of fifteen cows, ten goats and almost ten thousand dollars because you told someone that you love her and she also felt the same way.

Let’s be honest……it’s really painful because your aim as a man is to start a family not to become an entrepreneur  (making a wife investment).

If  you support your parents charging a bride price of this nature then I guess you will be happy when after marriage you start sleeping on an empty stomach.

In fact it does not stop there……there comes a fancy wedding which is mostly funded by the man after paying an abnormal bride price.

 Should he steal so that he can make you happy?

Don’t get me wrong but iam just trying to put myself in a man’s shoes and imagine how I would feel if the same thing happens to me because I did say I love someone.

Trust me, iam not saying man should not pay bride price …..But what iam advocating for is a reasonable bride price which does not scare away the men or our potential husbands.

I salute and respect those who came up with the idea of paying bride price but I hate those who use the bride price as an excuse to get rich through their son in laws. 

If you want to get rich …work hard…….don’t use someone else’s son as a tool to get what you never worked for in life.

Giving the man a thought……..until tomorrow