Relatives part two

I don’t understand and I don’t think I will understand soon.

The relatives who visit without the men’s knowledge issue captivated me to go out and look for more men so that I could find out whether the issue is a challenge to most men and how they try to cope up with it if it is indeed a challenge.

Little did I know that I would come across someone called Cebo, a recently married man who would tell me an interesting story that I decided to share with you today.

Cebo has been married for two years and has a one year old son. When his wife gave birth he suggested that she could go to her parents as per custom of which his wife refused and suggested that her mother would come and help her to adjust into mother hood instead of her going to the village.

I understand her reason and support it fully

Who goes to the village after giving birth and spend close to two months

It was possible several years  ago but these days with the rate of infidelity in marriages…..go for two weeks and you will find him already having a girl friend (its my opinion).

According to Cebo his mother in law has not gone back to the village ever since that time. Every month she asks for money to buy those at her homestead groceries instead of going back.

I wonder whether she is still helping her daughter to adjust into mother hood

Who knows?

This made me to put myself in Cebo’s shoes and wonder how it feels to spend the honeymoon phase of your marriage with your mother in law.

Remember that these people have not been married for even five years yet the mother in law is now camping at her newly married daughter’s place without any remorse or regret.

Those who are fully vexed with the Ndebele culture know and understand the nature of the relationship between a mother in law and her son in law. Though some of the norms have been abolished in some families, there are some families who still embrace them and ensure that a son in law and his mother in law don’t cross the boundaries .For example these two individuals are not expected to see each other eating as it is a taboo and the son in law cannot put on a short in front of his mother in law.

Since Cebo and his wife are renting a two roomed house in Pumula, his plate is always left at the kitchen which has turned to his dining room while his mother in law will be eating with her daughter in the sitting room watching  television.

“I can’t remember the last time I watched television in my own house since iam not comfortable to seat in the sitting room with my mother in law.

“If there is a football match, I have to go to a sports bar in town to watch the match …”

"I can’t chase away my wife’s mother because she is my mother too."

Cebo is one of the men who are inconvenienced by their wives’ relatives and they suffer the impact in silence.

Remember…..its what they meet as men once they get married that iam concerned with…