Men need their space

He needs his space to do his own things, to be away from her frequent complaints, away from the cries of children and away from work.

This means that he needs to hang out with his friends.

When he was single he used to enjoy life to the fullest.

He would go out and have braai with his friend every weekend and not even anyone would complain whenever he got back home.

Not even his parents!

He would attend all his friend’s birthday parties and organized some as well.

He was enjoying because he was a bachelor and he wished that the bachelorhood will never end…but all that ended on the last bachelor party that his friends had organized for him a day before he got married.

Little did he know that he would never be allowed to go out with his friends again let alone to attend their birthday parties because he had a wife who is more than a mother to him.

He can no longer have even a few bottles of beer with his friends because the wife says that’s a sign of immaturity and failing to take responsibility.

Believe me, iam not saying that married men should behave as if they are not married as this would lead to a lot of marital problems in the long run.

In as much as married men have to abandon their old traits and behavior and take responsibility for the family, they also deserve to enjoy their lives as well.

Getting married should not be like going to a prison to a man; it should be like moving to another phase of life as nature calls for it.

Getting married does not also mean that a man should abandon all his child hood friends who would not be married yet and look for new ones as it is common knowledge that friendship is not just a one night thing but is rather complicated as friendship is not applied for but is rather earned through trust.

Yes, he has to leave some of these friends if they fail to respect and acknowledge the fact that he is now married at the same time keeping close all those friends who give him good advice.

The funny thing about us as women is that we want to ensure that we keep our old friends and all of them yet we don’t want our husbands to keep their friends.

Is it because we know that our friends are responsible for all the bad things that we do or is it a matter of just don’t liking your husband’s friends.

If men are not allowed to continue hanging out with their old friends ,we should stop hanging out with our old friends as well.

Why should men suffer out of boredom and wait for any slightest mistake that the wife makes as a way of ending the marriage so that they can go back and enjoy the old days that they used to have with their friends.

They need space and time to be relieved of the family burden and their wives complaints through hanging out with their friends as marriage is not a jail where it is only the prison officer decides what the prisoner has to do .

Marriage is for two people and these two people have to enjoy the marriage in the same way. This means that if as a woman you want space to hang out with your friends,you need to give him that space to hang out with his friends as well

Men should be allowed and not condemned whenever they hang out with their friends

Fast foods

According to health reports ,meals should be well cooked as a way of prevention against diseases associated with eating raw food which is said to be the larger contributor to most diseases that people are suffering from these days.

 Most health experts blame fast foods as the contributing factor to health related problems which are contributing to a large number of deaths per year.

If fast foods are having such a deadly impact,  then why are some women  stilll making them in their homes other than preparing well cooked food so that their husbands can eat without  fearing  for their health.

I talked to a number of women from my church so that i could get an answer to my question .
I asked them regarding to what they normally prefer to prepare for their husbands 
Surprisingly, more than 50% admitted that they are lazy to cook during the day especially because of power cuts, some even said that they don’t have time to cook because they dismiss late from work and would be very tired to cook such that they normally  prefer buy fast foods on their way home.

 This made me to ask myself  regarding to how these women’s husbands feel when they have to eat fast foods at their homes regardless of the fact that they are married and have well respected wives.

One can easily dismiss this and tell me that men need to also do the cooking ,but believe me they will be as tired as the women and it is generally known that cooking is a woman’s job especially when they are married. In as much as the cooking job can be done by both  men and  women,it is general knowledge that at home the woman should play an active role when it comes to cooking.

Below are some of the responses that I got from married kombi drivers regarding to how they would feel if they got home and find out that their wives have bought them fast foods

Responses

Mafaro who has been driving Kombis going to Nkulumane 5 for close to five years said if his wife buys him fast foods instead of preparing food for him at home, as a man, he would chase her away because that we be a sign of disrespect to him as the head of the family.

"Sister, imagine I work up as early as three o’clock everyday and go back home around twelve only to find out that someone out of her laziness bought me food instead of cooking from home…Why then would I have married her in the first place”, added Mafaro.

one of the fast food places:Source Google

Jolly Khumalo who has been driving Kombis going to Luveve 5 responded by saying that personally he won’t tolerate such kind of behavior from someone that he would have married hoping that he will eat well cooked food. He further added by saying that all men in general should not accept and tolerate that kind of behavior from their wives as accepting to eat fast foods at home would be like taking a slow poison which will eventually kill you in the long run.

Tapz replied by saying that he does not like fast foods at all because he does not trust the people who prepare them and as a result his wife packs lunch every day for him .He further pointed out that there are some wives out there who just tend to fry everything regardless of how long the fried thing takes to be cooked which he also viewed as fast foods.

"Women of these days cook chicken for five minutes even in their homes! That is another form of fast foods”, he added.

However regardless of how men feel about being given fast foods which are either prepared by their wives at their homes or the ones which are bought, there are a lot of them who are fed up because of these kinds of foods which  poison  them in the long run.

How they wish they were single!!!!!!!!!
Below is a video "Iwish "from R Kelly

Balancing work and family

Woman at work

A long time ago, women were not given the opportunity to go to school because their fathers believed that women needed to have letter writing skills so that they could write letters to their husbands.

This is because there was a belief that taking a girl child to school was as good as wasting your money because she would later get married and would end up supporting her husband's family.

As a result a large number of women who grew up a long time ago were housewives, they spent all their days at home and as a result they managed to do most of the household chores.

 However this has been a thing of the past as these days women are now managers and the go to work. This brings us to today's discussion which is aimed at tackling some of the pertinent issues which are raised by man who have working wives.

some fail to balance work and familly

 Most men say in this 21st century, women are not conducting themselves the way they used to in ancient days. 

These days women go to work and come back very tired.

Most are failing to balance their work pressure with household chores.

The 50/50 policy has corrupted them.

 It is worse for those who are working. 

Their household chores are left unattended. If a respective husband tries to open his mouth and ask what is wrong, the answer he actually gets is painful. They cite that they are tired as they spent the whole day working like their husband. Alas! Money is power. All the kitchen chores are being done by their kids and the husband.

women at work pictures :Google

 They claim to be tired everyday and sleep early
Why does one go to work when she knows that she wont manage
Men suffer .
Below is a video showing women fighting at work.
How then do they balance their work and household chores if they cant handle work pressure and end up fighting

 

Wasteful wives

Last week she asked for money to do her nails and he gave him twenty dollars.

She said the money was not enough and cried until he added another ten dollars.

Two days later, she said that she wants to attend a friend’s wedding and wants money for a new hairstyle and he gave him forty dollars.

Days later she claims that there is no longer food in the house and he has to folk out another few bucks left from his pocket.

She has a degree but due to the economic hardships in the country, she is not employed yet and spends the whole day at home.

She has stopped submitting her applications because she recently gave birth and has to take care of the baby .

Her husband is a civil servant  but she does not care ,whatever she wants, she makes sure that she gets it no-mater what.

She is not the only one as there are a lot of wasteful married women worldwide. Normally wasteful women are those women who do not go to work and out of boredom spend most of their time shopping, getting their hair and nails done or partying with their friends.

These kind of women waste all the money at home but they don’t care as long as they are happy. 

Some do this because of pressure from their friends who will be behaving in such a way while some do this because they are simple incapable of budgeting.They have never budgeted ever since they were children.

A lot of men are being overworked because they want to ensure that their money balances as they are having wasteful wives while some have landed in jail because they resorted to stealing as a way of trying to ensure that they match up with the demands of their wives who are always on the receiving end and always demanding different things on a daily basis.
There are a lot of men who have developed high blood pressure because their wives are wasteful such that the husband’s pay does is not enough for covering the basics which has resulted in the husbands being forced to opt for loans  so that money balances at home.

Whenever there is no money in the house, the wife gives the husband sleepless nights demanding money which she definitely knows that it is not there because she has wasted all of it buying fancy expensive staff which is not even basic.

This is a challenge faced by most men who only have beds that they bought before they got married and a one plate stove.

These men get a pay slip every month end but their money goes down the drain.

They work but they have never enjoyed the fruit of their labor because once the wife gets hold of the pay whatever she wants matters other than what the man want.

It is these kinds of men, who are in such this situation who wish they had a chance to be single again.Here is an interesting on line article about what a judge said regarding to wasteful wives read more

Love potions 2

Like we said last week, love portions are still used by women in the Twenty First Century. Several men have fallen prey to these women who use love charms. Not only have these men married women that they never loved at all but they have also lost their dignity of being called family heads to being the subjects and house wives.

It is in their marriages, that their wives make all decisions and rule them, these men are battered and abused but their minds are no longer normal.
Love portions have blinded them.

Due to the complexity of the issue of love charms I decided to different people as a way of getting to know more.
Buthelezwe Moyo, who is a pastor at Brethren in Christ church, is of the view that the way love charms affect men is not different from how one is affected by a demon. According to him men who have been subjected to love charms are spiritually possessed and they need deliverance like any other demon possessed people.Butholezwe is of the view that women who use love portions on their husbands need to repent because they are trying to reverse what God initially started, that which states that a man is the head of the family.

traditional medicine

 However Alice Dube who is a prophetess at the Zion Apostolic church says love portions are only wrong when they come from traditional healers because they are made using unholy material. She said in their church they have restored a lot of marriages through using intethelelo/minamato.  According to her it is okay to use holy items so that people can get married.

‘There are a lot of ladies that we have assisted when their husbands were no longer interested in them. We give them water that they mix with their cooking water so that their husbands can come back to their senses. According to her, this cannot be referred to as love charms because they get instructions from God unlike what traditional healers do as they get their instructions from ancestors.’ she said
Nevertheles, nommater where they come from, love potions have the same impacts on men.
Impacts of love charms.

They dont call them love potions

According to Jackson Nhundu, women should stop using love potions as a way of trying to enhance the love that their husbands would be having for them. Jackson is of the view that love is natural and cannot be made to be artificial through the use of charms which most of the time is the contributing factor to most men who have gone crazy and are running in the streets the whole day. According to him, it is because of clove charms that some men are now at Ngutsheni while others have lost their lives as traditional healers always mistake love charms with medicine used for making some one go crazy.

When I asked Jackson whether he knows anyone who lost his life because of his wife who would have been trying to use love charms, he responded by saying he once had a uncle who was in a polygamous marriage and his wives were always fighting and battling for attention through frequent campaigns.For more on polygamyread more
When this failed, the wives resorted to seeking witch doctors advice .As a result his uncle had started by washing clothes at home and later on went mad because his mind could no longer think properly.
Video showing a  what a mad person does

It is imperative to note that true love is a natural mutual feeling which comes from within and does not need any charms so that it exists or blooms.
Men should not be burdened by us women because we want them to be what they are not. If you want someone different, don’t use love portions as a way of trying to make him what he is not.

Instead look for someone who is what you want….. thats true love .Below is a music video celebrating true love 
 

Love potions

some of the charms

Love charms are not something new in our society as they were being used during the time of rulers like Tshaka, Mzilikazi and Lobengula which ruled centuries ago.

During those days a man could marry any number of wives that he wanted without any challenges as polygamy was something which even the society supported wholeheartedly .This made women to compete to be the first wives even to the extent of using  love potions as a way of trying to get the first wife status .

Marrying many wives symbolized power ,authority and wealth.Not only were love charms used by women when they were campaigning to be first wives, but  they were also used in the course of the marriage  as a way of trying to retain favor and be the husband’s favorite. Marriage became a battle field fort competition

It is imperative to note that even though it was common knowledge that love charms existed and were being used by women  after getting them from popular traditional healers and witchdoctors , women never dared to make their husbands to know that they were using love charms on them as this was going to lead to immediate dismissal of the women.

As a result the love charms were kept hidden so that the man never stumbled on them as he would get to know that he was being fed love charms.

However, there were also men who were using love charms so that they could get any beautiful woman that they wanted to marry before other men who were more rich and powerful than them could get the woman.It was all about the fear of losing a loved one that men  were using love potions on prospective wives.

These love charms have been existence since then and up to this time and age, they are still being used mostly by women

Images of charms from Google

These days due to the fact that there are incurable diseases such as HIV AIDS, very few people still believe in polygamy but women still use love charms on men.
However the reason as to why they use love charms has largely diverted from them wanting to be loved by their husbands to that of wanting to control their husbands .

because of women rights. These days one gets to wonder why women are going to extremes because they have love potions. These love potions are now being sold at different places ranging from public toilets to houses.

There are a lot of men who are seen doing things that a man in a normal state of being would not do. Some are seen washing nappies and their wives clothes as a sign that love portions are at work.

Have you ever seen a man in a sober state washing nappies when the wife is seated?

These men are beaten and controlled by their wives but are not able to do anything as they can no longer think straight.

They wish they were single 

Below is a video which shows how traditional healers work so that you can understand more on love potions .